The time bomb ticks, pauses occasionally, deludes me repeatedly, and resumes its course. There is no worse torture I know than this game of waiting for an inevitable end, then being given some reason to hope that the inevitable isn't so, right in time for things to get worse, then slightly better again, then even worse, and worse, and slightly better, then worse and worse and worse until it can't get any worse. If I know this pattern so well, why does it throw me every time?

FUCK THISSSSS