all i can say is that this semester is FUCKING MISERABLE. i pulled an all-nighter just so i could go out on my birthday, then i worked all day saturday and pulled another all-nighter saturday night. i didn't finish the immediate work i had to do until well into the afternoon on sunday. to make matters worse, i have school all day today, and a paper due thursday as well as a spanish exam. so basically, i have to work all fucking day tomorrow. And I'm sick...AGAIN! I've been getting sick so much lately, probably because I don't have time to sleep :( this is awful. all i wanted was for my second semester of senior year to be calm and relaxing after everything i went through last year, and it's just the worst thing in the world. we're only 3 weeks into the semester! this is supposed to be the easy time! i'm afraid it's only going to get worse...

you always won at board games
and you always won at cards

your luck was better in monopoly
than it was in life

you died young
but still your racecar races
down the board

and your battleship,
it battles on.

--

today it makes 4 months. i can't believe it's been so long. every day it feels like i lose a little more of you. i lost you all at once, but i suppose i just couldn't take it in the moment. so i lose you little by little, like i'm slowly sipping tea until the cup is empty.

---

i cannot lose you all at once
so i slowly sip my tea
and lose you one sip at a time.

the cup is nearly empty;
it's been four months since you've gone.
and still,
my quaking hand is holding on.

the moment's come and left,
but it comes and comes again
as i drag it out with every sip,
i do not gulp.

the tea is nearly gone,
but i'm afraid that i'll forget the taste
if i drink it down too fast.

as it is,
my tea's gone cold,
and i'm forgetting.

flabbergasted.

fuck you, dan. can't believe all i was to you was a piece of fricken meat!