I've noticed I don't write anymore. Not really, anyway. Not creatively. Don't they say that pain produces the best writing? For me, it's done the opposite. Inspiration has vanished.
I've noticed that all I do is sleep. OK, that's clearly in part due to jet lag. But I remember, the other night, I was tired but would've stayed up in normal circumstances...and I just slept because I could. Closed my eyes because it was escape. The only way I knew how to stop thinking, stop worrying about what I have to do...I just don't want to worry anymore. Don't want to stress. I want to do one or two things and stick with them, channel my energy into them completely. I'm so good at Envoy but I have so much else to do that I cannot focus, cannot do as well or as much as I'd like. Sigh.
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