These days, it feels like everything that can go wrong is going wrong. The big things have been wrong all along. But why is it that even the little things can't go my way?

Why is it that I can't even celebrate my 21st birthday the way I wanted to? That I have to stare at people's Facebook photos of their own birthdays in fucking Thailand, where I was meant to be, and LONG.

There is so much I want now. So much I need. I do my best to be a good person and a good friend and a good student and a good editor and WHERE'S THE FUCKING PAYOFF? Happiness and health for myself and my loved ones, that's all I ask for. I guess that's a lot to ask, but I'm reaching a point where I don't think I'll be able to take it any longer.

THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE PERSON.