I speak with silent vowels on my tongue. Unless they're spelled out letter-by-letter, they just disappear into the word...poof. You can never hear murmurs of past, unspoken memories, sulking and sitting, silent but deadly, slowing you down, making you stop, think, turn back... stop trying...stop caring...just stop.
I do not want to feel like a whiner. Sadness does not justify giving up. "Depression"--or whatever it is that this is-- does not justify giving in. But, I just do not want to do anything anymore. It's not just about being about a whiny, lazy bum. It's more than that. I'm losing a little bit of myself, I feel. I want to retreat, to hibernate inside myself, hide away like those silent vowels between the other letters...
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